The Department proposes to define abortion as "any of the various procedures -- including the prescription and administration of any drug or the performance of any procedure or any other action -- that results in the termination of the life of a human being in utero between conception and natural birth, whether before or after implantation."  (The full Reuters article is here.)

Reading the above-linked article made me think of a passage from a Wodehouse novel.  Bertie Wooster and his faithful gentleman's personal gentleman, Jeeves, have just accidentally gotten Gussie Fink-Nottle rip-roaring drunk, instead of rendering him mildly tipsy as was their intent.

     "Let us face the position, forcing ourselves to be calm.  You inserted in that jug -- shall we say a tumblerful of the right stuff?"
     "Fully a tumblerful, sir."
     "And I added of my plenty about the same amount."
     "Yes, sir."
     "And in two shakes of a duck's tail Gussie with all that lapping about inside him, will be distributing the prizes at Market Snodsbury Grammar School before an audience of all that is fairest and most refined in the county."
     "Yes, sir."
     "It seems to me, Jeeves, that the ceremony may be one fraught with considerable interest."
     "Yes, sir."
     "What, in your opinion, will the harvest be?"
     "One finds it difficult to hazard a conjecture, sir."
     "You mean imagination boggles?"
     "Yes, sir."
     I inspected my imagination.  He was right.  It boggled.


Have you inspected your imagination?  Does it boggle?

Since I mentioned my grandfather in my last entry and, in my Flexeril-induced haze, failed to consider that most of you probably have no idea why he is funny, allow me to elaborate in the form of a poll.


I will post the correct answers tomorrow soon.

I totally meant to put a poll in that last entry, but I forgot and you can't edit in polls apparently -- it makes LiveJournal angry.

I finally bought and read Ender's Game (on the heels of Superpowers, which I will have something to say about once I am less tired) and I liked it.

My hair just keeps getting shorter; at this rate I will be having my head shaved sometime during the summer of 2015.

( The evidence. )

So I went all the way to the Mall of America to get my hands on some Lush stuff (specifically some Aromacreme which, at the risk of admitting you all too far into my confidence regarding my use of personal care products, I will say is the best deodorant EVAR). It sounds like a simple errand, right?

I found the Lush store despite the highly misleading mall directory listing (for anyone else wishing to visit him/herself, it is in Macy's, on the first floor, not in E114). I bought what I'd come for and nobly resisted temptation in many lovely-smelling forms.

Then, deciding to reward my self-restraint, I stopped at Barnes & Noble on the way back to the train station and bought copies of Superpowers and Tristram Shandy. Put that way, it sounds like I went straight into the store, found the books I wanted, purchased them, and left; nothing could be further from the truth, as I did what probably at least some of you do in bookstores -- wandered aimlessly for at least half an hour, snatching up books and reading random passages to see what they tasted like.

Anyway, I was so distracted by ALL THE BOOKS! that I left my Lush bag on the counter while buying the two aforementioned books, and went merrily home without it. Fortunately the nice people at B&N saved it for me and are keeping it in their lost and found, but this means I will have to take the train down to the mall again tomorrow night to get it.

On the bright side, the train is a wonderful place to read and it's very unlikely that the same creepy, cologne-drenched guy will sit across from me on the ride back, staring at my cleavage and trying to engage me in conversation despite the fact that I am reading. I really hate it when strangers interrupt my reading, with the exception of adorable children and people who want to tell me that I am on fire or have dropped money.

And oh, oh! Before I forget, would anyone reading this be at all interested in learning some English Country dances at Tapestry with me? It says that partners aren't necessary, but I'm far too shy to go alone. I would love to go, though -- it looks like lots of fun. We could pretend we're in a Jane Austen novel!

I am so very, very glad that the week is nearly over. I've been feeling very listless lately, and I know that feeling will go away as soon as I get back in the saddle, gym-wise, but I haven't quite managed that and so I feel sluggish, and want to go to bed at nine o'clock. I went out for drinks after work and after one beer I just wanted to lie down quietly underneath the table and go to sleep.

Before I go to sleep, though, here is

Next weekend aside, I am going camping with Maria this weekend.  As I told her in an email earlier, I'm SO EXCITED.  When she asked, I had to confess that I just can't hide it.  She in turn mentioned that she's about to lose control; she added in a later message that she thinks she likes it.